Thanos Demands a New Mets Roster

Ive been on a Marvel kick the last like month or so. Watched all 18 movies thanks to a jail broken phone and a lot of downtime at work. So I watched Infinity War finally and I realize that Thanos is brilliant and way ahead of his time with the theory that wiping out half the population would actually save it. So if you could make half the Mets personnel disappear with the snap of a finger, who would it be? Top to bottom, we play Thanos and the Infinity Gauntlet has been utilized

TheWilpons – No explanation necessary

Sandy Alderson – He’s done enough in his 8+ years here that if he turned to ashes, he wouldn’t be missed. Time for him to go

Omar Minaya – Omar should be spared. While GM, the Mets had a winning record over the course of his 6 years, including getting within 1 inning of the WS. Many of his players contributed to the 2015 WS run. He’s got an eye for talent.

Mickey Callaway – Don’t know what to make of him yet, but he has had no favors done for him thanks to terrible roster construction. He is spared

Jacob deGrom – deGrom lives

Noah Syndergaard – Thor survives in the movie and on the Mets

David Wright – He actually died two years ago. No one has told him yet. Be gone, Captain America.

Steven Matz – Matz has enough potential that he can stay. Close call though. His last 7 starts have saved him.

Zack Wheeler – I’ve seen enough. It’s time to move on

Jason Vargas – Can’t disintegrate fast enough.

Jeurys Familia – I like him but I don’t like him enough that it’ll break my heart to watch him vanish

AJ Ramos – Dude can’t hit water if he fell out of a boat.

Anthony Swarzack – he can be spared just out of the sheer fact you need to fill a roster somehow.

Robert Gselleman – Spared. Should be the new closet

Seth Lugo – Spared

Hansel Robles – LOL

Paul Sewald – Meh. Could be a swing guy. He is spared

Jerry Blevins – Him and his socks can get lost

Asdrubal Cabrera – He survives, but only under the condition that he is traded.

Amed Rosario – He is spared. He is important to the future of Mets humanity

Todd Frazier – He broke the myth that white people don’t season their food. But he hasn’t justified being here two years. He must go

Adrian Gonzalez – Better than I thought, not good enough to be blocking Smith or Alonso

Jay Bruce – more like K Bruce. He needs to disappear

Yoenis Cespedes – Yoenis is spared

Brandon Nimmo – Nimmo is spared

Juan Lagares – he showed enough to be here, if he can just stay on the field.

Michael Conforto – He is spared

Wilmer Flores – Wilmer has a penchant for clutch hits. Wilmer is spared

Kevin Plawecki – still want to see him over the course of a whole season. He is spared

Any of the other 3 catchers they trot out there – dump them all

Jose Reyes – He needs to disintegrate for this team and his wife’s health.

34 members of the organization analyzed, 17 members of the organization that should be gone in order to save the Mets.

-Tom

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