Something interesting popped up on the timeline today. And although it is unconfirmed, it should be taken seriously by MLB.
Are the Nationals in fact, engaging in sexual activity with each other? Does Max Scherzer and Stephen Strasburg handjob each other in the shower? Do Juan Soto and Victor Robles dock in the sauna? (If you’re unaware of docking, you’re lucky). Does Ryan Zimmerman have every rookie blow him in the locker room as a rite of passage?
If so, the league should take swift and firm action for having sex without personal protective equipment. All sexual activity between teammates should be banned from February to October.
We here at Mets Uncensored are believers that anyone can have sex with whomever they want, as long as it doesn’t involve cancelling baseball games. So please, Nationals, stop fucking each other and stop fucking the Mets schedule. Thank you.
So when the team here came up with this idea, we had no idea how much of an abortion Mets Facebook is. Like we kind of knew, but man, we were not prepared for the mutants on there. So let’s dive right into this.
First off, something that’s been complained about far too much. The Mets have never televised road spring training games. They didn’t do it before a pandemic, they’re not gonna do it during a pandemic. So shut the fuck up. The games don’t count. You don’t need to watch them.
I'm done with shills. If you don't love the sport of baseball and only watch your team play, please just don't waste my time.
I Know this tweet doesn’t fall into the week of March 1-7 but it was a submission and needs to be highlighted. Apparently we all need as much free time as this guy so we can watch games from all over the league. So remember Mets fans, if you have a job that doesn’t afford you summers off or have young kids or any other time consuming hobby and only get the watch Mets games with your limited time, your opinion is shit. Be better, shills.
If you are a #Mets fan and want the COVID vaccine It should be easy getting a pre-existing condition letter As a Mets fan, we continue to be at higher cardiac risk especially with our bullpen. Pre-existing condition = Mets bullpen. #LGM
Saying being a Mets fan is a pre-existing condition is always funny. No one has made that joke before. It’s original and not lame at all. We don’t believe in sarcasm at Mets Uncensored, so we are being absolutely truthful in this assessment.
I'm just not putting up with idiots hating on @STR0. He's elite and is going to have a brilliant season. Looking forward to silencing the faux #Mets fans.
Bold move using your closer as an opener, Benjamin Button.
Once you start something with “I know this may sound really stupid…” stop typing, because you’re correct. Also, it’s year three, spell the man’s name right (Pete Alonso)
May as well stay on Alonso here for a moment. Pete almost has hit Ike’s career total for home runs in 1 1/2 seasons, but go on.
No fun in the clubhouse until Lindor get a hit in a game that doesn’t count. That’s the rules.
If you didn’t know, it’s absolutely impossible to improve defensively if you’re not getting your maybe 5 reps in a game that doesn’t count.
Someone hire this guy as a Mets hitting instructor.
I know what this guy is trying to do. He’s mocking people complaining about the DH in spring training games. That’s fine, but be less corny. Talk about trying too hard
Lindor definitely is not gonna be ready for the season because he didn’t start a spring training game 3 1/2 weeks before the season starts
METS FAN FUED OF THE WEEK
So I know last week we teased this and plan on doing it going forward, but the best we could find was an argument of whether being fat is contagious and frankly, wasn’t worth the time it takes to embed tweets. So we will see what next week brings.
It was kind of light today. It is still March though, so as the season picks up, so will the buffoonery. If you have any submissions of stupidity from your fellow Mets fans, feel free to DM @Mets_Uncensored on Twitter
So as was made clear last time this blog was up, we are all about entertainment as much as we are about talking ball. And one of the things that kind of reignited Mets Uncensored is the behavior of some of the notable blogs out there recently, and beyond that, Mets fans in general on social media.
Mets Twitter, and even Mets Facebook, are fucking treasure troves of great content from mutants all across the globe. If you might recall, three years ago, it was Mets Uncensored who had an exclusive one on one interview with the Reyes Virus guy. Anyone can start a blog and go on Baseball Reference and give you someones BACON or VORP. But you want to actually have a full blown Mets fan experience that goes deeper than stats? You’re only gonna find that in one place. Right here.
So going forward, we are gonna do weekly recaps of the social media happenings of Mets fans. We are gonna highlight the dumbest tweets, most preposterous trade proposals on Facebook, and this which is gonna be our favorite part…The Mets Twitter Brawl of the week. It’s gonna be a blow by blow recap of the intra-MetsTwitter spat from the prior week. Hell, based on some of the player’s tweeting habits, it might not be just fans featured here.
On top of that, we do realize that there are plenty of funny people out there in the fan base , and would like to highlight them as well. It doesn’t have to be all negative. Either way, if you spot something that you think is worthy, feel free to send it our way. So stay tuned and spread the word…
One last thing. Shout out to Michael Baron. He’s been on the receiving end of some of our staff’s jokes in the past. But he and his family are going through some shit right now, and we wish him the very best in his battle.
by Current Writer Mets pitcher Marcus Stroman made his spring debut yesterday. Not really sure how it was because we don’t watch spring training games here. However, according to Mark Gooden of the Washington Examiner, Stroman was pulled after two innings while pitching a perfect game. There’s speculation that there could have been an injury […]